


One Life Stand

by MatrixDream



Series: Whrung [2]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Ace Whirl, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Console is fucked up and I like putting him in everything, Empurata, I don't actually know how speed dating works~, M/M, Multi, Rung is not Whirl's psychiatrist, Sexualized Empurata, Speed Dating, uncomfortable situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:46:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixDream/pseuds/MatrixDream
Summary: His friends fearing he is lonely, Whirl is forced to come speed dating with them one night where he meets plenty of quirky characters, and a cute nerd with big ass eyebrows.





	One Life Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd for now. They're on vacation so I'm on my own XD I also want to remind everyone that I haven't given up on this ship, even if I suck at writing for it.

        The building was a lot smaller than expected, and very unassuming. Not that that was something to complain about, the less room the less people who would be in there. Quite frankly the dull, lackluster, grey building was fairly sketchy looking. The only thing keeping it from looking abandoned was a bright neon sign welcoming people inside. Though as a struggling body was being dragged towards the entrance by two large mechs, it was sketchy once more.

        "If you scream again, I'm going to hit you." A black and red truck grunted out.

        "I'll hit you right back,  _again._ " The victim growled back, tugging his arm out of the mech's grip.

        "Come on it's not going to be that bad, Whirl," The other mech sighed, helping him up but blocking his escape. "It's just speed dating."  

        "I already told you mechs, I'm not interested in it!" The aforementioned mech snapped, glaring with his singular golden optic. "Is there any speed friendship making? Cause I need some new friends." 

        "Shut up, there's a bar right over there, we can go after." Trailbreaker sighed, he just wanted a nice night out with his friends, a date, and some booze but it'd seem one of those components was determined to be more difficult than the others. 

        "Can't we just skip this stupid idea and head straight over there?" Whirl groaned, wanting desperately to do literally anything else. 

        "Because then you'll just mope at the counter and not socialize with anyone." Brainstorm spoke up, continuing to block any escape with his large gold and blue chassis. 

        "Exactly." 

        Trailbreaker rolled his optics. "How about this, I'll buy you a drink for every round you last in here. Whether or not you get a date." 

        "How about you both go frag yourselves." The dark blue mech growled out, snapping his claws. 

        "Now, now, why don't we save the flirting for the lucky bots in there, eh?" Brainstorm chided as both he and the Outlier began pushing the reluctant helicopter towards the entrance. 

        "I hate you both." Whirl muttered angrily as he half-heartedly complied, deciding being practically dragged into the building wasn't the ideal way for him to make an entrance or good impression. Not that his looks would help him with either. 

        Though as the three mechs entered, they were greeted by a decently lit room. It was much bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside and the atmosphere was welcoming, as well as almost calming. Still, Whirl couldn't help glowering at the sight of so many attendees before turning to Brainstorm. "Why are you here?" The question was directed at the Cybertronian jet, whose wings hiked up in surprise. "You have two potential sparkmates at home." 

        "Well, yes, but I'm here for moral support! 

        "And to help keep you from running away every chance you get." Trailbreaker broke in with a laugh as he amicably patted their shoulders. 

        "I restate my earlier statement of needing new friends..."  The heli rolled his optic, though no follow-up to his comment was given as an excitable femme practically bounced up to the trio. 

        "Hello~! It's so good to see some new faces here!" She greeted, flashing an exaggeratedly large smile. "So, are you all looking to date?"

        "These two are." Brainstorm pushed the other mechs forward, the tallest of them struggled to take a step back out of protest. 

        "Great~! Alright sweetspark," She turned her attention to the black and red truck. "We're going to get you walking around, you'll see the line up right over there, it can be harder to get the date you want that way but I'm sure you'll do just fine, cutie!" There were bots sitting at tables in rows and a small line up of bots trying to rotate to different tables. 

        "Thank you." Trailbreaker smiled at her before heading over to where she directed. 

        She watched him go before turning back to the remaining mech. "And now you, hmm," Eyeing the Empurata victim, she took on a pondering look. "Ah, I'll get you to sit down like the other one." She waved to an empty table before straight up walking away to chat with someone else. 

        Whirl released an aggravated sigh and clicked his claws, his remaining friend uttered reassurances and led him to the table. "I'm sure it will be fine, look! They even have free Energon." Brainstorm pointed out, trying to be encouraging as the angry bot sat down heavily. 

        "What ever, Teebs better hold up on that deal, I could use a few drinks already." Whirl sighed and rested his helm on the table in front of him. He received a sympathetic pat from the gold and blue jet before being left to his own devices as bots began choosing who they'd like to start with. Most bots passed him so he lazily looked around the room, not all that interested in the occupants; even if his optic did fall on the only other mono-opticed bot who looked considerately more excited to be here than he was.

        Though that did get him to at least sit up and look somewhat presentable. Which actually seemed to work as time ran out, a bot finally did sit down at his table. For some reason this unconsciously caused him to put his claws in his lap, practically hiding them. 

        "Alright everyone! Take a seat and set your timers! Sessions will last five minutes each, no more no less! If you want to talk to someone again then exchange frequencies please~! You're allowed to leave at anytime but we want to make sure you all have fun! So, let's do this! Go!" The femme from before cheered, prompting everyone to start their timer. 

        Once the device started ticking, Whirl and his partner studied the other. The bot was a bland grey and black, most likely a grounder alt-mode, really short too. They seemed to like what they saw until their optics got to his helm, which was just briefly looked at before they decided to stare at his protruding chest and talk. 

        "I take it you're new to this?" They started, pointedly avoiding looking at his helm. 

        "Yeah, what about you?" He continued the conversation regardless. 

        "I've been here enough. It's not the greatest for long-term relationships, at least not in my case. Good one night cycle stand here and there but that's about all this is good for." The bot shrugged, sitting back in their chair. 

        "I'm definitely not your type then." 

        "Nope." With that, the next four minutes were silent, tense, and awkward as they both watched the time gradually tick by. Mutual relief rippled through both of their EM fields when it finally rang. The boring grey bot didn't waste a moment and instantaneously stood up to head to the next table, leaving him alone once again. 

        Bots shuffled around the room despite the fact that they only had to go one table over. The next bot to approach Whirl looked a bit reluctant and he couldn't say he felt much different. The timers were set again so the two eyed each other even if it was clear that neither of them were interested. Bright pink femme, like optic watering pink that had his optic constantly re-adjusting, she had a very thick build though, likely a tank or muscle car of some kind. She was pretty but she didn't seem all that special. 

        "Fadeout." She introduced herself. 

        "Whirl. Nice to meet you." Wow, he almost actually meant it. 

        "You've got a good optic colour, I like it." Fadeout complimented randomly, but how were you supposed to start a conversation here?

        "I'd say I like your paint job but I can't really see it." His optic squinted again as he tried not to look directly at the finish. This lighting wasn't helping all that much either. 

        The femme laughed quietly. "Honesty, a good quality." 

        "Sure, if you like offending sensitive bots and getting into fights." Another soft laugh in response. 

        "I'm going to be upfront and tell you you're not what I'm looking for in a date but I could use a blunt friend that'll actually tell me my paint job looks like the pit next time. So, friends?" She asked, quite frankly equally as blunt as him but more to the point. 

        "I was just lamenting about needing some new ones so sure, why not?" With a shrug they exchanged comm frequencies and shared some idle chatter until the five minutes were up. Maybe this entire thing wouldn't be a complete waste of time. 

        Rotation time again and Whirl was surprised to see that he'd ended up partnered with Trailbreaker. 

        "Hey stranger." The black and red mech greeted cheerfully, he at least seemed to be having a good time. 

        "Hey Teebs." The helicopter sighed. 

        "What's wrong? I know this isn't your ideal way to spend the evening but have you at least met anyone yet?" 

        "The first bot was boring as all frag, they barely talked to me. The femme I was just with was fine, might be someone to talk to in the future. What about you?" Really he wasn't all that interested but maybe if the other mech was nearly as bored as him they could fragging  _leave already._

        "I've gotten five frequencies already, I got a kiss, and a bot offered to take me out sometime. Speaking of, if you make it a few more rounds I'll keep up my end of the bargain, date or no date." 

        "Everyone has only done two rounds! How did you get so many comms?" He questioned, though did not brush off the deal. 

        Trailbreaker looked proud but sheepish. "I-..uh. I had bots coming up to me." 

        "Lucky you." The larger mech tried not to sound too bitter, he didn't want a date anyways but having the fact that no one really liked him get rubbed in his not-face didn't feel all that great. 

        "It's only been the first two rounds, and look on the bright side! You already made a friend. You're doing great!" The truck tried to cheer up his friend, despite the fact he was having second thoughts himself. 

        "Whatever." Whirl shrugged it off and they once again lapsed into silence. Then the night became gradually worse once his friend moved on to the next table. 

        The next bot to sit with him took one look then hemmed and hawed before making a comment about the time and straight up leaving. This is what he had expected and the first two rounds were just a lucky break. So, he got to spend the next five minutes in complete silence which prompted him to drink some of the provided Energon at his table to occupy the free time. As the next round started, the bots at the table beside him left together, once again leaving his without a partner and a non-alcoholic beverage to keep his attention. He quickly became bored with that as well as his helm rested against the surface before him. The tick of his timer was noticeably off beat from the others, a small grinding sound accompanied each tick. When it went off and signaled the next round he sat up, the ringing just a few seconds behind the others. Which irritated the ever-living pit out of him. 

        He was so engrossed in his annoyance that he barely realized there was a switch and the fact that somebot was actually willing to sit with him. Though when he did notice the mech taking the seat in front of him, he leaned back in his own, placing his claws on the table with an audible and slightly intimidating thud. He was bored and ready to leave—drinks be damned, if his claws seemed threatening to the mech, he really couldn't bother to give a frag. The next round started, and it was once again time to judge his partner...Who looks like a nerd. Between the glasses, shortness, thin scientific build, and the overall aura of the mech, there was no doubt that this orange and peach coloured bot was a complete nerd. Fantastic. Also those  _eyebrows_ , dear Primus. 

        Though he was surprised to find himself actually in pleasant company. The nerd extended a servo with little hesitation and his expression never wavered even as Whirl's claw came into contact. 

        "Hello, I'm Rung. May I ask your name?" 'Rung' introduced himself and gave the mech in front of him a warm smile. Not some half-assed/ forced/ awkward smile, a genuine one as if greeting an old friend. What was wrong with this mech?

        "Whirl." Said mech replied, eyeing the short bot warily as his claw was shook. The semi-handshake was strangely perfect, not to abrupt as to show disgust towards his claws but not so long that it turned awkward and clearly forced or _worse_. Where was the stigma? He knew it was there somewhere, probably hidden behind those stupid and somewhat adorable spectacles. 

        "It's wonderful to meet you, Whirl. How has your night been going?" Oh Primus, he sounds like a shrink. 

        "How do you think?" Whoops, real conversation killer, too aggressive, way too aggressive. "It's been  _fantastic,_ " There, sarcasm, that's more like it. "And yours?" 

        "Could be better." Rung admitted, pointedly ignoring the sarcasm. Then he whipped out a deck of cards. "Care to play a game with me? Might make things more interesting for us." 

        "How so?" Alright, this was certainly a more interesting way to go about it. 

        "Each of us shall hold an equal amount of cards and each time we have something in common we pick up another and place it over here," He gestured to the side closest to the timer. "But if we run into anything uncompromising then we put a card down here." Then he gestured to the opposite side. 

        "Alright, seems easy enough." Whirl commented, motioning for the other mech to deal the cards since he himself clearly couldn't do it. 

        The cards were quickly dealt and the game was ready to begin. Shooting a warm smile to the mech across from him, Rung started. "How about we start with occupations? This isn't necessarily something that has to be in common. It's more about how busy the job would make our schedules." Holding up the cards, he answered first. "I'm a psychiatrist." 

        "Fraggin' knew it." Whirl muttered quietly, but didn't put a card down to show it would be a problem. "I was an enforcer, but I'm currently unemployed." The other mech nodded in sympathy, but they still held the same amount of cards, so it would seem it was his turn to ask. "Well, we're speed dating, so what's your preference in a partner?" 

        Rung seemed to ponder this for a second, tapping the edge of his cards against his lower lip in thought. "Well, someone who loves and respects me. I'm not particularly picky about looks, I like a good personality, especially a caring bot. Preferably someone who can make me laugh, though I haven't put much thought into it. I've just always assumed I would know when I saw them. 'Love at first sight 'as it's called, a little cliché. Perhaps I've done a bit too much reading," Seeming to take on a unfocused look, he shook himself out of it upon remembering the time limit. "And yourself? What is your ideal partner." 

        Damn, it was his own stupid question. "Uh, yeah, those are good. I don't really think about it too much either. Would be nice to have someone who cares though." Whirl sighed, though his processor quickly caught up with him and he remembered he was talking to a shrink. That was definitely something that would get him a lecture.

        Rung carefully reached his servo towards the empuratee's claw. "May I?" He asked gently, only making contact when Whirl surprised himself by nodding. "You _are_ cared for, Whirl." Ah, here comes the spiel about loving yourself. "I understand how you feel, so, no matter how we come out of this building, friends, partners, acquaintances, or just strangers who played a brief game, I want you to know that I have enjoyed your company." 

        The small, gentle servo atop his large, heavy claw was far more reassuring and calming than it should have been. Though it was quickly removed when he didn't respond, the nerd prepared to apologize for overstepping. "Thanks." He cut the bot off.

        Fixing his glasses, Rung nodded but didn't force the subject as this was speed dating with a stranger, not a session with a patient. Clearing his voicebox, he decided to continue. "Interests. We could compare interests," Waiting for the okay to keep going, he started. "As I mentioned before, I do enjoy reading. I'll read quite possibly anything I can get my servos on." A card was put on the agreement side, so he put one of his down there as well. "I also build model space crafts in my free time. Though I shouldn't go on to long about myself, what are your interes-" The other timers rang, and theirs followed half a second later. "Oh my." Now he felt bad, he'd been too invested in the conversation and lost track of time. 

        However, Whirl was too busy glaring at the offbeat timer to really care. That was going to continue to grate on his nerves, so he opted to open it up to see the malfunction. Instantaneously he spotted the problem, a single gear in the mess of cogs, was as a few paces off because the teeth kept grinding. "This is going to sound weird, but can I borrow your digit?" 

        Quirking an optic ridge, Rung hesitantly agreed. Less so out of indecision and more so out of the oddity of the question. Regardless, he allowed the other mech to take hold of his servo and watched as his smallest digit was used to correct the clock. 

        Nodding to himself, Whirl released the bot's servo and closed the device back up. "Thanks, that was bothering me." 

        Rung wanted to make an impressed comment, but was interrupted by the hostess walking over to them. "Is this mech bothering you?" She asked, directing the question at him before shooting a pointed look to the heli. 

        "Not at all! I apologize, we were just busy talking." 

        "Mhm, well if you want to keep talking, exchange frequencies or leave. Next round has already started." She continued to eye the larger mech, before nudging Rung to the next table. Not allowing him to do either of those things. 

        Whirl didn't comment as the other mech was forcefully escorted away from his table. A different mech hesitantly filled the empty seat across from the empuratee. At this point though, he wasn't afraid to admit he wasn't particularly interested anymore. He didn't even regard the bot sitting in front of him, instead shooting a quick and totally not longing glance at the cute eyebrow guy. 

        "I knew it, we haven't even talked yet and you already hate me." His new partner, bemoaned. 

        "Honestly mech, I hate everyone." He sighed, his night ruined and making him eager to get this over soon. 

        "I'm going to die depressed and alone..." 

        "Wont we all," Rolling his optic, he tilted his helm and rested it against his claw. "If it's really that bad, the mech I was just talking to is a shrink." He mentioned, vaguely gesturing in the direction the psychiatrist was sitting. 

        The other mech's optics widened in alarm and shook his helm. "No, no, no." He chanted before abruptly standing and leaving without another word during the middle of the round. 

        Well, Whirl couldn't complain as he simply shrugged and decided to have some more of the offered Energon. Leaving him in blissful silence until the next round. The new bot hadn't even sat down yet and was talking at anyone who was unfortunate enough to have to walk near them. When the finally did sit down, they continued to talk, nonstop. He wasn't able to get a single word in as the bot just talked and talked and talked for the whole five minutes. They just wouldn't shut up and he welcomed the chance of quiet again once the round was over. Maybe the bot had a malfunction, but they kept talking even as they moved to the next table, seemingly carrying the conversation with themself. 

        Of course Whirl knew to be careful what he wished for. He'd wanted silence and that was exactly what he got for the next three rounds. Who ever was supposed to be his next partner, would just skip him or shoot a disgusted look. Thankfully that didn't hurt his feelings, because clearly he doesn't have any. Yeah, after the next round he's going to leave, ten rounds meant ten drinks which might be enough to wash away all memories of tonight, maybe. 

        "Whoa, I didn't know they let super models in here." 

        Startled, Whirl looked up, not actually expecting the comment to be directed at him despite the closeness of the voice. Though, the comment was for him. "Excuse me?" Eyeing the mech up and down, he wanted to raise an optic ridge, but alas could no. The bot was, attractive, not his type, but definitely way out of his league in the looks department. His new partner leaned against the top of the chair, showing off the weirdly slim but full-figured frame. "Are you fragging with me?" 

        "Hopefully later," The mech winked, before sitting down. "My name's, Console. What's your name, sweetspark?" 'Console' was mainly white, with gold highlights and biolights. A silver faceplate held an overly confident smirk that was clearly forced and would break under the mildest of insults, a golden visor hid roaming optics. 

        Despite how the pet name made him cringe, Whirl gave up his designation. "Whirl." The white and gold bot made him uneasy and as his claws were suddenly grabbed, the feeling only increased. The other mech kissed his claws, something that outsiders could have considered chivalrous if it wasn't for how long the act lingered. 

        He quickly took his claws back, his sensors buzzing with anxiety, the discomfort was the most prominent where the bot had touched his claws. Console looked surprised, his false bravado crumbling over the rejection. "I'm sorry, I overstepped," Though he quickly recovered and picked the act back up, leaning over the table closer to the uncomfortable heli. "It's just, you're so hot. I can't control myself. Can we just get out of here?" 

        Whirl leaned back, trying to keep some distance between them even as the bot practically laid on the way too small table. "Hey, back off." However the other mech clearly had no shame, begging for him to come over and be shown 'a good time'. 

        Then it clicked into place. Oh, ew, Console was one of  _those._ Sick fragger. He was someone who actually sexualizes and fetishsizes Empurata. It caused the empuratee's tanks to roil at the thought. **@**

        "Pardon me..." A soft and thankfully familiar voice broke through. Whirl looked over to see Rung shooting the white and gold mech a disapproving look. 

        "Do you mind? We're a little busy right now." Console shot the much smaller mech a nasty look right back. 

        "Clearly," Rung eyed the situation, easily reading the heli's unease. "Whirl, I believe you offered to buy me a drink later, may I take you up on that offer?" 

        The aforementioned mech hadn't, but he knew an out when he heard one and accepted. "Right, I forgot about that. Let's go." Not even bothering to grab his drink, Whirl stood and walked with the psychiatrist. "I totally could have handled that myself..." He uttered, though quickly took a brief glance back. 

        "You're welcome." Rung smiled, despite the appreciation only being subtext. 

        "Yeah..." That did have Whirl pausing, though. "Did you actually want to get a drink? My friend forced me into doing this and I plan to make do on his offer. So, free drinks on him." 

        "If you would like me to." 

        He hesitated before answer. "...Actually, I think I do." 

        "Alright." 

        Whirl quickly found Trailbreaker who was animatedly chatting with the other empuratee Whirl had seen. "Hey Teebs, I made it twelve rounds  _and_ managed to score a date. Pay up." 

        The black and red truck glance at his partner before nodding. "We were planning to get out of here anyways. Let's grab Brainstorm and all go to the bar. Maybe make it a triple date if he can convince his partners to step away from their work for a night." 

        "Sounds good to me." 

        They promptly left together, talking without fear of a time restraint or creepy bots trying to get in their plating. Though Whirl didn't particularly enjoy speed dating, it definitely resulted in more than a one cycle stand. 

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr in case you want to yell at me for not updating your favourite fics: https://5amanthus.tumblr.com/
> 
> My sideblog that I'm trying to get going, yell at me about your ships and feel free to send in asks: https://givemegoodgayrobots.tumblr.com/
> 
> Comments are appreciated <3


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